2021 has been a year unlike any other. From traumatic events to overwhelming changes at work to mental health struggles, to a work-related injury and finally ending it with getting over my first cold in almost 2 years. I feel blessed to have made it through.
At work
If you’ve read any of my other posts or at least scrolled through the titles, then you know I am an essential worker. I am a Pharmacy technician. In February we started giving covid shots to up to 240 people a day 5 days a week. My job as a tech was to collect patient information and type up and bill all the shots. This was on top of all our other responsibilities, you know like filling prescriptions. I am one of only two Techs at my store and with an increase in work came an increase in hours, from part-time to full-time. Phones rang off the hook, people tried to sneek in without appointments, we had curbside pick-ups to do, presctiptions to fill and patients getting angry at the longer and longer wait times for their orders. We were so overwhelmed! There were nights that I drove home, parked my car and cried for 30 minues before going into my house. It was a nightmare! Things did eventually slow down, we now have 1 appointment every twenty minutes (it started with 1 every 3 minutes) with a walk-in only hour between 2pm and 3pm everyday (this was after much complaining from exhausted overworked Pharmacists and Technicians). Things aren’t stopping, we’re on dose 3 and a 4th dose is in the process of being approved. It will never end.
Me, my health and home
On top of my situation at work, I went through some traumatic events at home. They are personal and I will not elaborate on what they were or what happened. As a result of all this, my mental health took a dive. I lost all motivation and energy to do anything, my anxiety was through the roof, and my emotions were out of control. I was tired, irritable and angry. Very angry. I started fantasizing about hurting people and losing control. I wanted to scream and break things. I was constantly losing my temper at work, I’m surprised I wasn’t fired. I’m very blessed to have the best Boss and co-workers. In 2020 I started taking xanax and although I was using it last year it wasn’t enough. I knew I was not okay. After seeking help, I was diagnosed with chronic depression and put on antidepressants. It has helped me tremendously. I am currently on a waitlist for a therapist(the pandemic caused a spike in the need for thereapy, go figure) . In October I started feeling pain in my left elbow and forearm that wasn’t going away. It is hard to lift, pull or grip anything with that hand/arm. The increase in repetitive work in the pharmacy was putting more strain on my left arm and had caused me to get a tennis elbow. I applied for workers compensation and have started physical therapy. The doctor treatmenting me cut my hours down to only 5 hours a day. The week before Christmas I came down with a cold that became, as usual, a sinus infection, but by New Years eve I was over it.
Thanking God and looking forward
God was my refuge, my shelter and my rock last year. Though he didn’t make things easier or take the things away that I asked Him too, He continued to give me strength to push through it. When I needed to know he was with me, He found ways to show himself. The covid vaccines show no sign of stopping and with the possibility of the need for more boosters, no slowing down. I intend to return to posting in my blog more frequently. I have decided that this year’s resolution is to simplify and my word for this year is less. I want less stress and negativity. If something (or someone) is causing me stress or negativity I’m cutting it out of my life. I’ll keep praying for Gods strength and look forward with eyes fixed on Him.
Love and blessings,
Carrie